I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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