Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
