matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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