i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize