"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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