who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
