I feel great
I just peed on a car
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
