Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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