I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
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