i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
