Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry Alias08 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(607): View more from New York

I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.

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(407): View more from Florida

Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.

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(540): View more from Virginia

You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".

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(815): View more from Illinois

thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.

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(702): View more from Nevada

all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral

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(303): View more from Colorado

She's writing hockey erotica again.

(719): View more from Colorado

Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.

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