I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
