Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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