Moan for me like Helen Keller
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
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