I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Randomize
