Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
