Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
