he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
