this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
