They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
