so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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