happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
it's like iHOP with fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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