The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
