dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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