im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
