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Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
