Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
there's paper in my vomit.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
