I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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