we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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