i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
