So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
