Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Randomize