my mouth tastes like poor choices
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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