I can't watch pbs sober anymore
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I cut my penus on the lid.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
