did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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