Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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