Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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