where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
