okay pat passed out under dana's car
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Randomize
