You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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