apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
