he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
