Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
