I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
