dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
