Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
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I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
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I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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