He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
The power of my boobs compel you
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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