This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
