i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
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I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
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Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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