I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
