Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I checked into jail on foursquare
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
So here I am, sexting at work.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
