yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
