if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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