i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize