Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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