We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
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Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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