singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
