Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
