The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
