Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Randomize
