yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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