So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
