do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
