I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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