I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
i've created a new STD.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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