Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
