im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Randomize
