She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
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