ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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