Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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