Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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