I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
