ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
